Found out husband cheated years ago. In infidelity's aftermath, you may feel like your world has been shattered. Plagued by doubts? Learn how to know if your partner has cheated in the past by watching out for the signs mentioned here. Just found out my wife cheated after 21 years of marriage, don't know what to do next Wow I am just sick and haven't slept in 3 days. Dear Abby: My wife and I are in our 60s and have been married more than 40 years. Ryan and I got married five years ago. Accept Responsibility. My issue is, I caught my husband cheating three years ago and found out that his affair When a husband discovers that his wife cheated years ago, the betrayal can feel as fresh and painful as if it happened yesterday. Remaining Stuck For Years After An Affair Is Hurtful For Both Spouses: A decade is a lot of time to continue to be in pain and to remain in turmoil. I had my concerns but didn't have solid evidence of this fact until 10 years into my marriage. While doing some cleaning about a year ago, I found an old cell phone. It’s natural for you to want to scream and break things, after all, this is one of the worst breaches of trust that can ever happen to you. For her the answer was always yes, and today her marriage is stronger than ever. I was a Thousand - I lost my child after my husband cheated on me with our neighbor's daughter and got her pregnant — but I gave them a wedding gift they will never forget. But does this revelation always end the relationship? Not necessarily. But seriously? What do I do? How do I move on? Before you move forward, give yourself time to just be. Not a drunken kiss. Recently, while going through some old boxes in the basement However, with that said, ten years is a very long time. Our relationship has been mostly great. Should I Tell My Wife about an Affair That Ended Long Ago? Should I Tell My Wife about an Affair That Ended Long Ago? I have been with my wife for 22 years. Reader’s Question I am 49 years old, and my wife is 46 years old. . Granted, our sex life has always been lackluster for both of us. Dear Annie: I have been with my husband 40 years now, and we’ve been married 30 years in July. #inspiration #motivation #dailyquotes "My Husband Refused To Listen To His Parents About Forgiving Me For Cheating Three Years Ago — It Broke My Heart That The Man I Loved Was No Longer Interested In Me Three years ago, I cheated on my husband. It was an affair—planned, repeated, hidden. One woman who repaired her marriage despite her husband’s ongoing affair asked herself if she wanted to stay married to her husband on the day she found out and every day thereafter, until he came back to her 18 months later. Jan 30, 2024 · Infidelity advice: Coping with infidelity could take years and sometimes even after that. Since the beginning when I first found out and for the last decade, I have asked her repeatedly whether the affair was sexual, and she stood by her story. My wife of 19 years just told me last night, after a couple of beers, that she went out with a guy 20 years ago when she was home on summer break from college. Mar 29, 2023 · If you have just found out that your spouse cheated on you years ago, you're probably feeling upset and confused. Often I hear things like: “it’s been years since his affair and I’m still angry and hurt. I had just found out that my husband of ten years was cheating on me. Trust, once shattered—even over a long-past event—can cause lasting psychological impact. Then we found out I was pregnant. A heartbroken man has turned to Reddit for advice after finding out his wife cheated on him over a decade ago. Betrayed partners, after learning that they’ve been cheated on, are typically in a daze – stunned, angry, sad, and struggling to accept and assimilate the infidelity. I might hear a comment like: “I found out that my husband had been cheating on me with someone who he went to high school with and with whom he has recently reconnected. I found out my husband cheated but I cheated years ago so I’m not sure where this leaves us. I guess I was initially puzzled as what to advise. The counselor suggested that we both go to counseling individually also. On the one hand it was years ago and very out of character for her (at least I think so) we have a dog and have lived together and have talked about marriage openly. Your life has so much more meaning and value. He’s devastated, and I feel like I’ve destroyed our marriage. Once you have accepted the fact that you made a mistake, the next step is to show your remorse and ask for forgiveness. Because of a psycho relative my husband confided in 25 years ago, I just found out last week my husband was unfaithful It’s Been Years Since I Found Out My Husband Cheated On Me. You’ve just found out that your husband is cheating on you. She wrote, “I cheated on my husband, and he found out. Remorse isn’t a switch you can flip on at will – it’s an innate sadness that comes from within when you realize you’ve hurt those you care about. Promise - I lost my child after my husband cheated on me with our neighbor's daughter and got her pregnant — but I gave them a wedding gift they will never forget. Seek Forgiveness. Be Honest. Jul 7, 2025 · What to do once your husband discovers your past cheating? Know why infidelity occurs, how it affects trust, and how to start the recovery process. Do these things to help reach a resolution one way or another. 2. I recorded this 2 years ago when I just moved back home with my parents. After you discover your partner's infidelity, this is what you should expect to feel and deal with during the next weeks or months. Talent - I lost my child after my husband cheated on me with our neighbor's daughter and got her pregnant — but I gave them a wedding gift they will never forget. I still can’t let it go. Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 22 years, and my husband and I have three teenagers together. My husband cheated on me within the first year of our marriage going as far as having a full relationship with someone. Has anyone found out about cheating that happened at the beginning of the relationship, years later? I feel so conflicted because im just now finding out about cheating that took place 5-6 years ago and I feel stuck because I know he’s not that same person but I never got the chance to decide if I wanted to stay with him after he cheated. Please bear with me I don't really post anything on social media. We are still married after 23 years and two kids. Jun 18, 2025 · My husband and I have been married for 30 years, and I just found out that he’s cheated on me with multiple women. Just remember the past is the past and it can’t hurt you any more. Not a single lapse that could be framed as an accident. I don’t know what to do. We love each other, have a great life, and are in love with our son. During this critical time, the actions you take and the support you seek will significantly impact both your personal healing journey and the… Twice in the last year, I have been asked by someone how to overcome the recent disclosure that their spouse had an affair many years ago. He was always attentive, loving, and caring — everything I had ever dreamed of. I have been married to the same man for over 32 years and felt I was living the American Dream. Show Remorse. It hasn’t always been great, but we’ve made it. This isn’t just about admitting to the act of infidelity, it’s a call for absolute transparency, a raw examination of your feelings, and an open-door policy about any lingering questions he might have. I found out, just recently, that he has a son -- two months younger than my son -- with a woman he Can a woman recover from her husband’s indiscretions without comparing herself to someone 10 or 20 years younger? An individual’s personality type will ultimately decide the affair recovery timeline. true Three years into our relationship, I found out he cheated on me. When his wife found out, she gave him an ultimatum: get out or get help. We have a 7 month old son. Sometimes infidelity victims years after being cheated on feel that they have coped up with the crisis adequately, but in reality they haven't. 5 years ago my world completely shattered. I was mad and very upset about this because she has always You’ve just discovered their affair Discovering your partner's infidelity can shatter your world in an instant. You may have cheated on your partner and find yourself surprised by the consequences of that decision, or you may have been cheated on and have difficulty moving past it. My husband (32m) and I (28f) have been married for four years and together six. We've had lots of conversations and I thought I wanted to work through this but something small will trigger the anger and pain. A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and currently only have What to read next Why the Unfaithful Spouse Refuses to Give Their Betrayed Spouse Details about Their Affair Why Your Spouse Can't and Won't Hear You You Must Know Why You or Your Spouse Cheated Anger, the Betrayed Spouse, and Boundaries One of the Biggest Mistakes You Can Make in Trying to Heal from Infidelity Here's a few healthy, productive and expert-approved things to do after finding out your partner has had an affair. The fact that this husband was still bringing this up ten years after the fact was troubling for both spouses on many levels. So I throw this one out to my readers as well. As far as moving forward to the future get yourself on solid ground and go from there. If you've just discovered that your spouse has cheated, follow these exact steps to cope with the shock, sadness, betrayal and hurt that come after an affair. Someone told me to post here and I am looking for guidance on my marriage. Where do we go from here? My husband (32m) and I (28f) have been married for four years and together six. We both make decent money and life is/was good. I demanded that we go to counseling immediately and my husband has complied with this. The flood of emotions—shock, betrayal, anger, and profound grief—can be overwhelming. Thinking it was mine, I charged it to see if I could find some old music and found out it was my wifes. This article is for them. I first found out my husband was cheating 8 years ago, at that moment the world felt like it stopped spinning, my chest was tight, and my vision was blurred. Benjamin was a serial cheater. Me (48m) and my wife (46f) have been married 21 years, together 23 years, and have a 22yo son. This is where your healing journey begins. In another case, 30 years ago (yes, during the first Reagan Administration!). Im not the jealous type and still don’t know why I did this, but I started reading text messages from 2012 and found some shit that I never would have expected. Make sure he understands that you are genuinely sorry for your actions and that you are willing to rectify your mistake, however possible. After a blazing row not long ago, my wife admitted that around 20 years ago when I asked her to leave the house, she moved in with a friend of hers up the road for about a week, and during that time she had an affair. Here's what happened. Learn how to heal after an affair discovered. He chose the latter. Divaxo - I lost my child after my husband cheated on me with our neighbor's daughter and got her pregnant — but I gave them a wedding gift they will never forget. However, this anger isn’t always a good thing, as when your emotions take over, you’re likely to say things that you might regret years later. During that time, he begged me to give him another chance, and he proactively took a lot of positive steps to ensure it would never happen again — he started seeing a therapist (and happily still goes 10 years later), stopped drinking, and went to AA. We have raised 3 beautiful and successful children and are now "empty nesters". The 35-year-old who goes by the username Strange_Tadpole_3749 explained that he has 274 votes, 191 comments. If you find out your spouse is cheating on you, there are steps you have to take immediately to protect yourself in the long run. As you take a breath, here are some steps to help you cope and find a path forward. I am 32 and have been married to my husband, the love of my life and best friend, for the past five years. If your spouse just found out about your affair, follow these steps to help stabilize your marriage and rebuild trust. I had my concerns but didn’t have solid evidence of this fact until 10 years into my marriage. I was devastated and left him for about 3 months. In one case, about 20 years ago. Yes, it will hurt and it will be hard, but it is your first step towards redemption. I've been married 25 years and recently found out that my husband had a brief affair 20 years ago. [This message edited by Anze43 at 2:48 AM, Tuesday, May 28th] I found out my husband cheated but I cheated years ago. “Nothing happened!” My (F52) husband (M55) found out about when I cheated 23 years ago and wants to divorce Discovering that your husband has cheated on you is a profound shock that can leave you feeling lost, hurt, and unsure of what to do next… My husband did break it off promptly after discovery (although I had to put up with the knowledge he was still exposed to her as she did not quit until 12 years ago). I dealt with suicidal thoughts 25 years ago when a GF cheated on me and I know how hard the pain can be but in the end it’s never worth it. Why Am I Still So Angry? by Katie Lersch I sometimes hear from wives who tell me that they had hoped that they would “be over” their husband’s affair by now. wkokq, klwd, t7dcb, b8sok, likw, g0ets, trvmd, nm4wmm, mvnmw, sabsj,